Its been one year- with a long honeymoon, moving our lives to South Africa— deciding to stay for another five years within our role at YWAM, and many other significant shifts in our job, community and personal development! We certainly had a lot to celebrate!

So, we don’t have this figured out, in fact marriage has humbled us both a bit more than expected, but just a few tips that has helped us massively:

Engagement: do premarital counseling and make sure you cover the topic of “unmet expectations”— the work we did on this while were dating was massively helpful long term! (Also we found that working through The Enneagram was a huge help in understanding and celebrating our differences). While we were dating, we actually did a course together called “Defining the Relationship”- its an online course associated with Bethel Church, and then in our premarital counseling, we did a course called “Prepare and Enrich”— both programs were incredible!
Marriage is incredibly fun— we had both heard about all the hard work of marriage (which is why we put most of our effort towards premarital counseling, over the wedding planning itself)— and turns out- all the work you can do on yourself, and on communication, is a massive help! Not that we’ve had perfect communication- but our overall good communication and lack of co-dependency really lets us enjoy spending time together and continue growing!
Wedding: have someone (that has a good eye for photography) take polaroid photos of your wedding day, and hand them to you before you leave for the honeymoon- getting to see some snapshots of the day to look at during your honeymoon, and while you wait for your edits, has become one of my most precious possessions
Money: don’t go into debt for the wedding- its not worth it- the way that we saved a lot of money (as Americans) was that we took out a Chase Sapphire Reserve under both our names, and charged all wedding-related things, and with all the points from this- we were able to pay for our entire honeymoon (we’re talking all the flights to get us all over Europe, plus Airbnbs for two months, and flights to South Africa and back)- utilizing the points system in this way was a massive help!!
Honeymoon: you’ll most likely be EXHAUSTED after your wedding. Most couples I know sleep their entire honeymoon (we slept for a week, 14+ hours a day— but we were in Spain, and so fortunately the siesta lifestyle was accommodating)— you may want to consider the option of delaying your departure if you’re going for a destination honeymoon until after you’ve had some time to recover.
Anniversaries:we’ve only had one so far- but really appreciated a “couple checkup”, we an assessment through the same organization as our pre-marital counseling- and it was so helpful! With survey’s you fill out separately, and then encouragements of what you’re doing well as a couple, and suggestions are areas to have further discussion and focused growth for— it was so helpful!

Beyond this- utilize the wisdom from couples that have been married for a long time, its an invaluable resource for any and all things that may come up in your relationship!

All the being said, here are some photos of the day! 1.14.18 <3